Mukadzi kupfimba murume: inoita here?

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“NDIRI murume ane makore 44 nevana vashanu, ndinotsvakawo mukadzi wekuroora mukobvu, munaku, mushava uye akati rebererei. Ngaange achipinda chechi asi mupositori kwete, achibva kuManicaland uye akaongororwa ropa nekuti ini ndiri HIV negative. Vakadzi vanoda ndibatei pa07……..”

Mashoko akafanana neaya anogaroonekwa svondo roga-roga pachirongwa chemuKwayedza, cheTishamwaridzane, apo varume vanenge vachitsvaga vakadzi vekuroora kana kushamwaridzana navo.

Murume anenge achitarisira kuti mukadzi afarira “mhando” yake amuchaire nhare achiti, “Ini hangu ndakuda”.

Chokwadiwo, murume sene mashoko ari pamusoro uyu akatoona nhare yopinda ichiti, “Ndaona nhamba dzenyu muKwayedza, ini ndada. Tingaonane sei manje?”

Mukadzi kupfimba murume?

Kana vanhukadziwo vanotsvaga varume. Semumwe akanyorera kuTishamwaridzane achiti: “Ndiri mukadzi ane makore 36, ndine vana vatatu uye ndine pamuviri pane mwedzi 7. Ndinotsvagawo murume ari pachokwadi, anoshanda muhurumende uye ane mwana 1 kana 2 anondiroora. Ngaange achigara muHarare uye zvizhinji ngatitaurei paWhatsApp pa07……..”

Hezvo! Mukadzi ane vana vatatu nemimba ine mwedzi minomwe? Murume anenge azviwanira uyu, mushure memwedzi miviri mudzimai wake mutsva ane atosununguka, baba votorezva kasvava. Mufamba nyore chaiwo!
Mukadzi uyu akatowana waaida uye akatomboona moto awandirwa nevarume vaimuchaira nhare. Manje so-o.

Ndipo paunoona kuti zvinhu zviri kusanduka. Mukadzi chaiye kutopfimba murume, waasati ambosangana naye?

Makare-kare varume ndivo bedzi vaizivikanwa vachipfimba vakadzi kana vada zverudo. Mukadzi aigona kuwana murume waanoda asi haaikanda shoko, atomirira kuti murume ndiye aburitse shoko rerudo kutanga.

Asi nhasi uno zvinhu zvasanduka, mukadzi ave kukwanisawo kutokanda shoko kumunhurume waanenge “anzwira shuga”, vachitoroorana.

Kupfimbana kwazvino kuri kuitwa nenzira dzakasiyana, zvikuru kuburikidza nekushandisa ruzivo rwechizvino-zvino sepaFacebook neWhatsApp, mumapepanhau nezvimwe zvakawanda.

Asi kare mukadzi haaiti muromo wake bufu kuti kumurume “ndinokuda”. Kana ada murume aingoperera muzviratidzo, kwete kutanga ndiye kupfimba. Murume ndiye aitanga. Kana kuine mukadzi achiri kuita izvi nhasi uno anotonzi akasarira shure. Kuitawo here uku?

Kwayedza yakaita ongororo pamusoro penyaya iyi ndokusangana nevamwe vakapinda murudo kuburikidza nedandemutande kana nekunyorera kumapepanhau.

Mumwe mudzimai, uyo akaramba nezita rake, anoti akawana mudikani wake uye vakatopinda musvitsa tsvene kuburikidza nechirongwa chemuKwayedza cheTishamwaridzane apo iye ndiye akange anyorera achitsvaga murume.

“Ndakatora nguva ndichinyatsotsvaga munhu wandaida kusvikira ndazosangana naye. Iye zvino tiri kufara, tatove nemwana tose,” akadaro, ndokuramba nezita achiti vanhu vaizomuti mukadzi wemupepa.

Achibvunzwa kuti pazuva rekutanga kuonana nemudiwa wake uyu chii chakaitika sezvo vakange vasingazivane, akati vakasangana muHarare mushure mekunge varidzirana nhare.

“Takazivana sezvo takange tatsanangudzirana hembe dzataive takapfeka. Patakaonana pekutanga ini ndaingonyara-nyarawoka semunhukadzi. Murume uyu akati anondida asi aida nguva yekuti amboongorora kuti ndiri munhu akaita sei uye takatora nguva inodarika mwedzi minonwe tichidzidzana tisati taroorana,” akadaro mudzimai wechidiki uyu.

Vachitaura pamusoro petsika iyi, Mai Tsitsi Marima vekuMbare, muHarare, vanoti makare-kare vanhu vaisadanana kuburikidza nemapepanhau kana nhare asi kuti ndiro raive basa ravanatete nanasekuru.

“Kare hataiziva kuti musikana ndiye anopfimba mukomana aiwa. Zvaityisa nekuti vasikana vaitotiza vakomana, mukomana aiti kana ane musikana waada aizivisa madzitete kana vanasekuru vomubatsira kusvitsa nyaya yake kumusikana nehama dzake.

“Saka zvinhu zvese zvaifamba mugwara kudzamara varoorana vachitopanana nhumbi (nduma) pamberi patete kwete chihwande-hwande chave kuitwa. Mazuva ano hameno kuti mweya yakaipa here kana kuti zvikwambo zvave kuita kuti madzimai ashaye varume vanovapfimba zvekusvika pakutora basa iri ivo,” vakadaro Mai Marima.

Vanoti musikana haingoda mukomana pakarepo asi kuti zvaitotora nguva yakaita segore kana mwedzi inoverengeka mukomana achimufambira.

“Nyika yamera nemeno, vasikana ndivo vave kutodenha varume. Musikana anototumira mashoko erudo padandemutande kuti anoda murume ane mota nemabhizimusi achibva atotaura nemakore emunhu. Izvi zvinoratidza kurasika kwetsika nechivanhu chedu nekuti kana zvaunoda izvozvo zvikazopera ndikowo kupera kwewanano yako. Vanhu vane mota dzavo ivavo vanenge vaine mhuri dzavo,” vakadaro.

Musikana wechidiki, Kudakwashe Mawopa (17), anoti:
“Kune vamwe vatinotoziva vakatoroorana vakachata kuburikidza nezvirongwa zvakadai, pamwe vakaitawo rombo rakanaka rekusangana vaine chinangwa chimwe chete.

“Asi vamwe vakapinda mudziva rine makarwe, ndosaka zvichinzi rooranai vematongo kureva vanhu vanozivana tsika nemagariro. Kune vamwe zvakare vakazotorwa nemaSatanist vasangana paFacebook vakatendeutswa muzvitendero zvakaipa,” akadaro Mawopa.

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Jacksparo Xabiso (21) wemuHarare zvakare, anoti haaoni chakaipa kana akapfimbwa nemusikana kuburikidza nedandemutande kana bepanhau.

“Ini hangu semukomana wechidiki ari kunetseka kuwana basa ndinotoda madzimai makuru ane mari dzawo, ari kutsvaga murume nekuti ndinotoda kuchengetwa,” akadaro Xabiso.Nekune rumwe rutivi, akati vamwe vanonyorera vachiti vanotsvaga varume vanenge vari matsotsi.

“Mumwe wandakambopindura achiti anoda murume ndakamutora ndikaenda naye kumba kwangu asi mangwana acho akafuma asiri mumba, atiza mushure mekundibira mari. Ndipo pandakaona kuti vamwe vanenge vaine zvinangwa zvavo, kwete zvekuroorwa sekunyorera kwavanoita,” akadaro.

Hyden Meregedze (22) anoti haawirirane nepfungwa yekuti munhukadzi apfimbe murume.“Handibvume kupfimbiwa nemunhukadzi, ndiko kupenga chaiko.Ndinomupindura ndichiti kudii, anenge ashaya anomupfimba here nyika yese?

“Madzimai iwayo anoda kungwarirwa, unosiiwa wazorwa chirwere. Ini semurume ndini ndinofanira kupfimba munhu wandinoda nekuti kana andipfimba anozotsvaga here mari yekunondiroora ini semurume?” akadaro. Lloyd Malenga (25) akashorawo tsika yevamwe vakadzi vanopfimba varume.

Phinas Chirunga (18) anoti munhu wese ane kodzero yekupfimba kana kutsvaga mudikani waanoda.

“Panenge paine chikonzero ukaona munhu onyorera achitsvaga mudikani. Madzimai anoita izvi handiashore nekuti vanenge vachitsanangudza mhando yemurume waanoda. Kubudirana pachena.

“Kune vamwe vanopfimbana mumigwagwa chaimo asi vachinyeperana wani zvisinei nekuti vanenge vaonana chiso nechiso. Kana ndikapfimbwa ndinobvuma ndozovheneka munhu wacho kuti ari pachokwadi here. Asi chikuru kuenda kunoongororwa utachiona hweHIV nemunhu iyeye ndozotarisawo tsika nehunhu,” akadaro Chirunga.

Simangaliso Muzizi (36) wekuMbare akati shamwari yake yava panguva yakaoma nepamusaka pekupfimba kwayakaita murume wekunze kwenyika paFacebook neWhatsApp.

“Shamwari yangu yakazvishambadza ichitsvaga murume wekumisa naye imba paFacebook ichibva yapindurwa nemumwe murume wekuSwaziland uyo akangotumirawo mufanidzo wake uri chidimbu uchiratidza kubva kumusoro kusvika pamafudzi. Vaviri ava vakatora nguva vasina kuonana asi vachingotaurirana paFacebook, murume achitotumirawo mari,” akadaro Muzizi.

Anoti shamwari yake yakakwanisa kutenga dzimba kuBindura nemari yaitumirwa nemurume uyo akazouyawo kuZimbabwe kuti vazogara vose.

Anoti: “Akazoenda kunhandare yendege kunotambira murume wake asi zvakamushamisa kuona chiso chemunhu waaiona paFacebook ari munhu asina makumbo, aitova pawiricheya. Akavhundutswa nazvo asi semunhu akange atoda munhu nemari dzake, akamutora vachibva vaenda kumba. Vasvika kumba pakaita hondo nekuti murume akati anorara mubhedhuru make iyewo achirarawo oga zvinova zvakamushamisa.”

Anoti zuva nezuva shamwari yake iyi yaitora tauro yopukuta murume uyu nechekumusoro chete sezvo aisada kubvisa mbatya kuti ageze muviri wose. “Rimwe zuva shamwari yangu yakazoshamisika kuona honye dzichidonha nechekuchiuno kwemurume uyu achibva afonera hama dzake kuSwaziland.

“Murume uyu akange akadimburwa makumbo nenhengo dzake dzakavandika nekuda kwechirwere chegomarara.

Apa akange ave nenguva asiri kuenda kunorapwa sezvaaiitwa achiri kuSwaziland,” akadaro.

Muzizi anoti murume uyu akazoendeswa kuchipatara kunorapwa asi shamwari yake yakange yave kutotsvaga bonde kunze nekuda kwekuti akange adanana nemunhu asina nhengo dzakakwana.

“Ndokusaka ndichishora rudo rwekuwanana padandemutande, vazhinji vacho vazere nemanyepo.

“Vamwe vanotoshandisa graphics pamakombiyuta vachibuditsa mifananidzo yakanaka asi ukazovaona unofenda,” akadaro Muzizi.

Frank Nkoma (30) akati vakadzi vawandisa munyika nokudaro havachakwanirana nevarume variko izvo zvave kutuma kuti vamwe vaite vekutsvaga mumapepanhau.

“Mudzimai akatsvaga murume hachisi chivi. Madzimai mazhinji ari kupinda muwanano dzinorwadza, vamwe vanogara vachirohwa nevarume, vamwe vakarambwa. Saka kana akabuda hake pachena kuti anondida achitsanangura kuti ane vana vake ndinomutambira nekuti kune vamwe vanonyepa kuti vasikana asi ivo vapedza nyika. Rudo kubudirana pachena nekunzwisisana,” akadaro Nkomo.

Nyanzvi munyaya dzechivanhu, VaRay Bande, vanoti ndiko kurasika kwetsika kana vanhukadzi vopfimba varume.

“Pasichigare taiziva riri basa remurume kutsvaga mudzimai waanoda kupinda naye muwanano. Kana madzimai ave kuita izvi ndiko kurasika kwehunhu nekuti nyakuroora ndiye anofanira kutsvaga, hakuna madzimai anobvisa pfuma kana tichitevedza chivanhu chaicho.”

Mutungamiriri wesangano revarapi vechivanhu, reZimbabwe National Practitioner’s Association, VaFriday Chisanyu, vanoti rumwe ruzivo rwechizvino-zvino rwave kuwodza tsika.

“Tinoziva murume ari iye anopfimba mudzimai uye paine matanho anotorwa nanatete, sekuru, mbuya mukufambisa mashoko.

“Gwara iri rakanaka nekuti chero mukazoroorana pakazoita dambudziko munowana vanokuyananisai, vanoziva mawananiro enyu.

“Zvino kana mukawanana paWhatsApp kana morambana munongoshandisa WhatsApp iyoyo mozoona kurwadza kwazvo. Ndiko kusaka nyaya dzemhirizhonga dzisiri kupera, dziri kubva mukutadza kushandisa ruzivo rwechizvino-zvino nekusakoshesa chivanhu,” vakadaro VaChisanyu.

 

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